No, I’m Not.

 I can’t tell you how many times I have heard these words.

“You are so strong!”

Or “You are so brave to do that by yourself.”

Let me tell you - I am not. I travel by myself not by choice. It’s because if I want to travel and go anywhere, that’s what I have to do. Lee isn’t here to go with me. So it’s me, or don’t go. 

I try to fix things on my own because I need to. Lee use to do it, but he’s not here. So it’s me, or I hire someone.

I ride my bike on my own often because Lee isn’t here to ride with me. I have friends that will ride, too, but they have their own families and lives and things to do. They can’t always ride with me. So I have to go alone.

I’ve eaten in restaurants alone definitely not by choice! Lee isn’t here to join me. In Italy, I had to go eat in a restaurant by myself or eat in my hotel room. If I want a good meal, I have to go out and ask for a table for 1. It feels weird. I feel odd sitting with myself at a table in a nice restaurant. But if I don’t do it, I won’t be going.

And really - I’m not strong. But HE is. My faith in God pulls me through. He placed me here in the land of the living so I need to keep living. And when times get hard, he always carries me. Because HE is strong. Not me.